Archivo de la categoría: Ensayo

Rising Strong de Brené Brown

I.

“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we´ll ever do.” I still believe in this quote from two of my previous books-maybe now more than ever. But I know that it takes more than courage to own your story. We own our stories so we don´t spend our lives being defined by them or denying them. And while the journey is long and difficult at times, it is the path to living a more wholehearted life.

II.

Just because someone isn´t willing or able to love us, it doesn´t mean that we are unlovable.

III.

Setting boundaries means getting clear on what behaviors are okay and what´s not okay. Integrity is key to this commitment because it´s how we set thouse boundaries and ultimately hold ourselves and others accountable for respecting them. I tried to find an existing definition of integrity that reflected what I saw in the data, but I couldn´t. So here´s my definition:

Integrity is choosing courage over comfort; choosing what is right over what is fun, fast, or easy; and choosing to practice our values rather than simply professing them.

IV.

Longing is not conscious wanting; it´s an involuntary yearning for wholeness, for understanding, for meaning, for the opportunity to regain or even simply touch what we´ve lost. Longing is a vital and important part of grief, yet many of us feel we need to keep our longings to ourselves for fear we will be misunderstood, perceived as engaging in magical or unrealistic thinking, or lacking in fortitude and resilience.

V.

Regret is what taught me that living outside of my values is not tenable for me. Regrets about not taking chances have made me braver. Regrets about shaming or blaming people I care about have made me more thoughtful. Sometimes the most uncomfortable learning is the most powerful.

VI.

Revolution might sound a little dramatic, but in this world, choosing authenticity and worthiness is an absolute act of resistance. Choosing to live and love with our whole hearts is an act of defiance. You´re going to confuse, piss off, and terrify lots of people -including yourself. One minute you´ll pray that the transformation stops, and the next minute you´ll pray that it never ends. You´ll also wonder how you can feel so brave and so afraid at the same time. At least that´s how I feel most of the time… brave, afraid, and very, very alive.

Nine Suitcases de Béla Zsolt

To hell with doctrines, ideas and objectives! When the French accomplished their great revolution all they wanted was to improve their own lot; they wanted to eat more, pay less in tithes and taxes, suffer less harassment from the nobles and officials – and, thanks to this ruthless selfishness, not only did the material conditions of life improved over the next century and a half, but the intellect and the arts flourished, and the social existence of humanity, which had always been coarse to the point of brutishness, was tempered by such a defree of gentleness and tolerance as had probably never been experienced before. This wasn´t the result of doctrines, ideas and idealism, but of logical, sensible, base selfishness. To hell with ideas – if people always did what, on careful consideration, was in their most selfish interest, there would be nothing wrong with the world. Who wants to die and starve? Nobody. If people weren´t driven crazy by ideas and by their God, nobody would, for instance, go to war in order to starve and to die a beastly death.

Close to the Knives de David Wojnarowicz

I.

Last night I felt unbelievably sad and sometimes it happens that way: a sensation comes out across the landscape into the cities and further into the window of the car as I´m coasting the labyrinths of the canyon streets. It feels for a moment like nothing more than wind; it´s something I don´t see coming and suddenly it´s upon me and my eyes are blurring with tears and fragmented spills of neon and ghostly bodies of pedestrians and smokestacks and traffic lights and I´m gasping from a sense of loss and desire. I can´t think of anything I am truly afraid of and I´m trying to give something unspeakable words; some of us live in big cities so we can be alone, so we can avoid ourselves, and yet by living within massive populations we can have help or love within reach if necessary.

II.

I wanted a radical shift to occur so I could have a few minutes´peace or experience the silence of my brain. I wanted to be another person living a quiet farm life in a foreign culture. (…) I wanted to be physically erased and start over again. I didn´t want to be here. I didn´t want to be there. I guess I wanted to be nowhere, I wanted to listen to my brain talk inside of nothingness. I wanted to be untouchable and have no need.

III.

I don´t think the society or the situation is sitting there waiting to reject people; I don´t think it´s aware enough to say, “You don´t fit in”. (…) We set a standard that we can´t even live up to. We expect too much of a society that is probably going to reject us – it´s probably not even thinking of us.  (…) I want to adapt. I don´t think I´ll be giving anything up. I don´t care if I don´t value the thing I want to adapt to; it´s there – it´s a structure.

IV.

If silence equals death, he taught us, then art equals language equals life.

Olivia Laing, sobre David Wojnarowicz.

V.

It is exhausting, living in a population where people don´t speak up if what they witness doesn´t directly threaten them.

VI.

Smell the flowers while you can.

The Trip to Echo Spring de Olivia Laing

I.

Physically, Echo Spring is nothing more than a nickname for a liquor cabinet, drawn from the brand of bourbon it contains. Symbolically, though, it refers to something quite diferent: perhaps to the attainment of silence, or to the obliteration of troubled thoughts that comes, temporarily at least, with a sufficiency of booze.

II.

He says: “It was in my mind that if you weren´t able to function in action you might at least be able to tell about it, because you felt the same intensity – it was a backdoor way out of facing reality.”

“He” es Francis Scott Fitzgerald.

III.

Hunger was constitutional with him,
wine, cigarettes, liquor, need need need
until he went to pieces.
The pieces sat up & wrote.
John Berryman

IV.

Perhaps he also thought of Robert Jordan, who once said to himself of the things he had done: “But my guess is you will get rid of all that by writing about it… Once you write it down it is all gone.”
Robert Jordan es el protagonista de Por quien doblan las campanas. Está hablando de Hemingway.

V.

that one night, instead of warm pajamas,
I´d take off all my clothes
& cross the damp cold lawn & down the bluff
into the terrible water & walk forever
under it out toward the island.
John Berryman

VI.

Pt. admits that he is an alcoholic… Indication of depression, anxiety, immaturity, lack of insight, high aesthetic interests, feelings of alienation, & dependency… Admitted he is full of fear.
Un terapeuta sobre Berryman.

VII.

At some point, you have to set down the past. At some point, you have to accept that everyone was doing their best. At some point, you have to gather yourself up, and go onward into your life.

VIII.

I mean we all carry something inside us that can be rejected; that can look silver in the light. You can deny it, or try and throw it in the garbage, by all means. You can despise it so much you drink yourself halway to death. At the end of the day, though, the only thing to do is to take a hold of yourself, to gather up the broken parts. That´s when recovery begins. That´s when the second life – the good one – starts.

Nobody Knows My Name de James Baldwin

I.

One can only face in others what one can face in oneself. On this confrontation depends the measure of our wisdom and compassion. This energy is all that one finds in the rubble of vanished civilisations, and the only hope for ours.

II.

It is the writer, not the statesman, who is our strongest arm. Though we do not wholly believe it yet, the interior life is a real life, and the intangible dreams of people have a tangible effect on the world.

III.

Human freedom is a complex, difficult – and private – thing. If we can liken life, for a moment, to a furnace, then freedom is the fire which burns away illusion. And honest examination of the national life proves how far we are from the standard of human freedom with which we began. The recovery of this standard demands of everyone who loves this country a hard look at himself, for the greatest achievements must begin somewhere, and they always begin with the person. If we are not capable of this examination, we may yet become one of the most distinguished and monumental failures in the history of nations.

IV.

“Can I do anything for you?” he persisted; and when I did not answer, being both touched and irritated by his question, he smiled and said, “You haven´t to be shy. I know what it is like to be ill and alone in a strange city.”
It was a hideously, an inevitably self-concious gesture and yet it touched and disarmed me. I know that his concern, at bottom, had very little to do with me. It had to do with his memories of himself and it expressed his determination never to be guilty of the world´s indifference.

V.

The people who are in one´s life or merely continually in one´s presence reveal a great deal about one´s needs and terrors. Also, one´s hopes.

VI.

The world had prepared no place for you, and if the world had its way, no place would ever exist. (…) This is not the way this truth presents itself to white men, who believe the world is theirs and who, albeit unconsciously, expect the world to help them in the achievement of their identity. But the world does not do this – for anyone; the world is not interested in anyone´s identity. And, therefore, the anguish which can overtake a white man comes in the middle of his life, when he must take the almost inconceivable effort to divest himself of everything he has ever expected or believed, when he must take himself apart and put himself together again, walking out of the world, into limbo, or into what certainly looks like limbo.

Hope in the Dark de Rebecca Solnit

I.

Your opponents would love you to believe that it´s hopeless, that you have no power, that there´s no reason to act, that you can´t win. Hope is a gift you don´t have to surrender, a power you don´t have to throw away. And though hope can be an act of defiance, defiance isn´t enough reason to hope. But there are good reasons.

II.

I believe in hope as an act of defiance, or rather as the foundation for an ongoing series of acts of defiance, those acts necessary to bring about some of what we hope for while we live by principle in the meantime. There is no alternative, except surrender. And surrender not only abandons the future, it abandons the soul.

El arte de amar de Erich Fromm

Quien no conoce nada, no ama nada. Quien no puede hacer nada, no comprende nada. Quien nada comprende, nada vale. Pero quien comprende también ama, observa, ve… Cuanto mayor es el conocimiento inherente a una cosa, más grande es el amor… Quien cree que todas las frutas maduran al mismo tiempo que las fresas nada sabe acerca de las uvas.
Paracelso.

I.

Para el carácter productivo, dar posee un significado totalmente distinto: constituye la más alta expresión de potencia. En el acto mismo de dar, experimento mi fuerza, mi riqueza, mi poder. Tal experiencia de vitalidad y potencia exaltadas me llena de dicha. Me experimento a mí mismo como desbordante, pródigo, vivo y, por tanto, dichoso. Dar produce más felicidad que recibir, no porque sea una privación, sino porque en el acto de dar está la expresión de mi vitalidad.

II.

¿Qué le da una persona a otra? Da de sí misma, de los más precioso que tiene, de su propia vida. Ello no significa necesariamente que sacrifica su vida por la otra, sino que da lo que está vivo en él -da de su alegría, de su interés, de su comprensión, de su conocimiento, de su humor, de su tristeza-, de todas las expresiones y manifestaciones de lo que está vivo en él. Al dar así de su vida, enriquece a la otra persona, realza el sentimiento de vida de la otra al exaltar el suyo propio.

III.

El individuo egoísta no se ama demasiado, sino muy poco; en realidad, se odia. Tal falta de cariño y cuidado por sí mismo, que no es sino la expresión de su falta de productividad, lo deja vacío y frustrado. Se siente necesariamente infeliz y ansiosamente preocupado por arrancar a la vida las satisfacciones que él se impide obtener.

IV.

El hombre moderno se ha transformado en un artículo; experimenta su energía vital como una inversión de la que debe obtener el máximo beneficio, teniendo en cuenta su posición y la situación del mercado de la personalidad. Está enajenado de sí mismo, de sus semejantes y de la naturaleza. Su finalidad principal es el intercambio ventajoso de sus aptitudes, su conocimiento y de sí mismo, de su “bagaje de personalidad” con otros individuos igualmente ansiosos de lograr un intercambio conveniente y equitativo. La vida carece de finalidad, salvo de la de seguir adelante, de principios, excepto el del intercambio equitativo, de satisfacción, excepto la de consumir.

V.

La capacidad de amar depende de la propia capacidad para superar el narcisismo y la fijación incestuosa a la madre y al clan; depende de nuestra capacidad de crecer, de desarrollar una orientación productiva en nuestra relación con el mundo y con nosotros mismos. Tal proceso de emergencia, de nacimiento, de despertar, necesita de una cualidad como condición necesaria: fe.

VI.

Tener fe requiere coraje, la capacidad de correr un riesgo, la disposición a aceptar incluso el dolor y la desilusión. Quien insiste en la seguridad y la tranquilidad como condiciones primarias de la vida no puede tener fe; quien se encierra en un sistema de defensa, donde la distancia y la posesión constituyen los medios que dan seguridad, se convierte en un prisionero. Ser amado, y amar, requiere coraje, la valentía de atribuir a ciertos valores fundamental importancia, y de dar el salto y apostar todo a esos valores.